yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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