idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
