____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
