i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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