Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize