I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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