I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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