I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
