"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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