I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
