We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
