so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
