Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
