Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
