last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
