i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
