she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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