New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he shaved USA in his pubs
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
