Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
