I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
