Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
