we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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