do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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