nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
