i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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