Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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