I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
