You're a womanizer and a bitch.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
dude. I can hear the air.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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