Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How naked do you want me to be?
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