But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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