Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
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