Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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