she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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