I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
