you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
