Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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