I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
