3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
