My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize