Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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