:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
