Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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