you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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