It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
