I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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