My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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