But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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