super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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