Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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