What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
