so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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