She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
