Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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