i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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