i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
