I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
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The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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