The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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