im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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