he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
