So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize