Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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