lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Randomize
