I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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