honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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