What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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