I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
