he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
