so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Be still, my beating vagina.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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