no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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