I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
