I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
