yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
