I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
