I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
