I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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